One thing I need to do better is be involved in the community around me. I have not given this goal the priority I know it deserves. I’ll show up to a town event from time to time, but I’m just as likely to skip because I don’t feel like putting on shoes. I actively avoid eye contact with people around me in case they try talking to me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been to the same hairstylist twice. So I knew I was in for a bit of chastening when I added Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam to my “to be read” list.  

This book required a bit more focus to get through than my regular reads. It’s heavy on the research, which I appreciate, but it keeps me from breezing through at 2.5x speeds. Here is the gross oversimplification. 

Putnam highlights research which shows a decrease in social connectedness and civic engagement in the United States. Depending on where you live and how your life is structured, this might not be surprising. 

The dominant theme is simple: For the first two-thirds of the twentieth century a powerful tide bore Americans into ever deeper engagement in the life of their communities, but a few decades ago—silently, without warning—that tide reversed and we were overtaken by a treacherous rip current. Without at first noticing, we have been pulled apart from one another and from our communities over the last third of the century.”

I’ve moved a fair amount as a kid and even into adulthood, so I’ve been disastrous at building and being involved in the community around me. It has often crossed my mind though that it is just me. I assumed everyone else was pretty great at it.

The history and research Putnam presents makes it clear that over the last 50 years or so the change in cultural norms as well as a growth of technology have shifted how we connect with each other. So it turns out, it’s not just me. Disconnection is something we’re all experiencing in different ways. And we might all have a role in repairing it.

Putnam doesn’t offer a magic fix. He does remind us that reconnecting and rebuilding connections starts small. So that’s our invitation. Start where you are and choose to add one small good into community. 

As for me? This week I’ll be learning the name of the lady that keeps helping after I make the grocery store self check out machine mad. Because as much as I think I can do it on my own, I still need her help. Every single time.