Well, it’s time to admit that although I do love it here (usually) my life is not all fun and games. Ok, so here’s my honest side. Wait, not that I’m not normally honest… better yet, here’s my transparent side. Hm… maybe I’ll just be blunt. I’m frustrated. I hope this doesn’t turn into a lot of complaining, but I’m having a hard time communicating my frustration well in Portuguese, so this is my best outlet.
So classes are going well with the exception of one: my basic class with the Division workers. Last time I had class with them was April 26. The first week of May no one showed up for class because of Administrative meetings that were being held here that week (admittedly a very stressful time for us all), frustrating, but I understood. The following week no one showed up (with no particularly obvious reason). I’ll admit, I cried (what a geeky teacher). The two weeks following I was traveling to Chile, but I hoped that this dry spell would pass once I got back. Well… the fact that I’m writing this at 6pm on a Monday shows… no one showed up to class again today.
I would gladly change my teaching style if it would make class more interesting, and actually, I’ve been diversifying my lesson plans for more variety. But it does no good if no one shows up. My classes won’t seem any more interesting if no one’s there to experience them. Now I’m frustrated that I spent time today making a giant dice for the vocab review. Bah! I’m trying very hard not to put all the blame on myself, but it’s hard not to assume you’re doing something wrong. But it does have a way of making me feel rather useless here. Yes, I can see the difference I make with my translations, but teaching is sometimes I less obvious impact. I have a few students that make me smile just to think of the joy they have to be learning. I try to focus my thoughts on them. But seriously, it’s free, why is it too hard to come to? And why did I spend so much of my own money to come somewhere that people don’t seem to care about what I have to teach them? I can sacrifice thousands of dollars to teach them English, but they can’t manage the extra 2 hours a week? I know that sounds mean, but that’s how I’m feeling right now (I’m pretty sure I warned you about the honesty thing).
I guess at the moment I’m just discouraged and feeling unappreciated. Maybe I need a cup of tea and Adventures in Odyssey. Except that I’m stuck at work until the end of “class.” Yeah, I need a hug.