This is an awesome 2-part post, mosly because I got distracted and only got around to writing the title last night before falling asleep. So sorry if there are multiple concepts in one place, but I thought it was important to still reflect on both of my days. After all, this is still in the long run an exercise for myself to be more analytical of the lessons I am presented with on a daily basis.
So day 16: There is a big difference between a mistake and being bad or mean; know how to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. This lesson may be a little on the nose for the day I missed posting. But I swear that’s not the only thing that taught me this lesson.
I had a moment, feeling bad for not putting enough priority on something that was important to my husband. I won’t go into details, but it really made me feel like a bad person. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has those “I’m such a bad wife!” meltdowns, right? And let me make this 100% clear: there were no accusations at all from my husband. He was actually the one trying to convince me that I was an adequate spouse and still deserving of his love. Thankfully, there was still time to correct this mistake. So despite feeling sad and without any desire to leave the house, I got up and we were still able to make up for it.
Right after leaving the house, we had a similar moment while driving. We’re in Tennessee, and don’t know the roads at all, so we were relying soley on Waze to get us where we were going. As my husband was driving we found ourselves in a turn only lane with absolutely no chance to change lanes, so we turned. You know what comes next: “Recalculating.” Since we were already close on time (due to my aforementioned meltdown) he felt bad that he took us off route. After turning down an unknown road, I heard “I’m so sorry” from my trusty driver. Without thinking I said, “what exactly are you sorry for? Neither of us know these roads. How were we supposed to know that was going to happen?” A classic case of “easier said than done.” I saw so obviously that he had no need to feel bad about making a mistake, and yet felt it close to impossible to forgive myself for my own. Although I still maintain that his was much more innocent than mine. The point is, mistakes happen and we all make them. This doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re just a person.
And day 17: Take time to glean the wisdom of those around you as much as you can. We humans can only go so far in our own minds. I learned a little bit about this on day 9 during Creative Mornings. But if we can combine our own limited experience with the experience and resulting wisdom of others, we can know more than is possible in our own short lifetime.
This lesson I learned by doing just that. We had an evening at my parents house, and sat to chat with my mom over the lessons we’ve learned through our almost 1st year of marriage. But more than talk, what I found most interesting was listening to her describe what she has learned, the mistakes she made (which she must forgive herself for: see above), and the conclusions she has come about after 35+ years of marriage. We love family, we know they are valuable, but when is the last time you’ve sat at their feet and soaked in their wisdom? So take a chance and do just that. Call someone up that you love and ask them questions. They may not have all the answers, but you’ll probably learn something along the way. And isn’t that what this human experience is all about anyway?